








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 58 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1603 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,662 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1246 | 34% |
| Smokes | 882 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 527 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1007 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $429,425 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 45 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🆂🆄🆁🅵🅰🅲🅴 | 47% | 57 |
| #2 | Loca | 47% | 68 |
| #3 | Billie | 45% | 137 |
| #4 | Mr. Blue | 42% | 121 |
| #5 | Mr. Merlin | 41% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Loca | 47% | 68 |
| #3 | Billie | 45% | 137 |
| #4 | Mr. Blue | 42% | 121 |
| #5 | Mr. Merlin | 41% | 87 |
| #6 | Pawli ^w^ | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Billie | 14 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | Mr. Blue | 8 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Mr. Merlin | 8 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | Pawli ^w^ | 5 | 0.0206 |
| #5 | Loca | 3 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Billie | 200 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #2 | Mr. Merlin | 165 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | Mr. Blue | 155 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Loca | 133 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | 🆂🆄🆁🅵🅰🅲🅴 | 66 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Loca | +5.89 | 96 | 54 |
| #2 | Billie | +1.78 | 77 | 29 |
| #3 | Pawli ^w^ | +0.53 | 76 | 53 |
| #4 | Mr. Merlin | -1.02 | 66 | 47 |
| #5 | ads | -1.34 | 59 | 41 |





