








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 126 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 176 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3645 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,438 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1498 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1256 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1072 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 612 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,453,869 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 227 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⊺︎0pic乙 | 58% | 19 |
| #2 | aLMO1ST ッ | 54% | 26 |
| #3 | Pawli ^w^ | 53% | 32 |
| #4 | Loca | 50% | 252 |
| #5 | Mr. Merlin | 48% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Loca | 50% | 252 |
| #5 | Mr. Merlin | 48% | 27 |
| #6 | 🆂🆄🆁🅵🅰🅲🅴 | 48% | 21 |
| #7 | Mr. Blue | 46% | 114 |
| #8 | ads | 45% | 137 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ads | 25 | 0.0096 |
| #2 | Mr. Blue | 7 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Pawli ^w^ | 7 | 0.0101 |
| #4 | Loca | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Mr. Merlin | 5 | 0.0110 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Loca | 425 | 0.08 | 12 min |
| #2 | ads | 229 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | Mr. Blue | 132 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | Pawli ^w^ | 98 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | aLMO1ST ッ | 89 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Loca | +2.19 | 95 | 56 |
| #2 | ⊺︎0pic乙 | +1.13 | 87 | 72 |
| #3 | Pawli ^w^ | +0.82 | 75 | 59 |
| #4 | aLMO1ST ッ | +0.54 | 74 | 70 |
| #5 | Billie | -0.06 | 77 | 38 |





