








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
632 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,085 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 394 | 36% |
| Smokes | 31 | 3% |
| HE Grenades | 141 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 519 | 48% |
Our logs show you have wasted $107,569 of utility $67 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Merlin | 50% | 10 |
| #2 | Billie | 48% | 21 |
| #3 | ads | 47% | 57 |
| #4 | Mr. Blue | 46% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Merlin | 50% | 10 |
| #2 | Billie | 48% | 21 |
| #3 | ads | 47% | 57 |
| #4 | Mr. Blue | 46% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ads | 15 | 0.0147 |
| #2 | Mr. Merlin | 4 | 0.0217 |
| #3 | Billie | 3 | 0.0076 |
| #4 | Mr. Blue | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ads | 85 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #2 | Mr. Blue | 67 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | Billie | 38 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | Mr. Merlin | 17 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Billie | +1.83 | 78 | 27 |
| #2 | Mr. Merlin | +0.93 | 72 | 32 |
| #3 | ads | +0.34 | 66 | 43 |
| #4 | 🆂🆄🆁🅵🅰🅲🅴 | -0.74 | 74 | 40 |
| #5 | Mr. Blue | -0.78 | 59 | 34 |





