








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 48 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 319 matches | ||
| Premier | 40 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3173 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,230 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4418 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4837 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3199 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3776 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $974,849 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 53 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | woxi | 62% | 26 |
| #2 | JOKERztw | 57% | 96 |
| #3 | ♠M A N O W A R♠ | 55% | 56 |
| #4 | Cyrano de Bergerac | 55% | 42 |
| #5 | rromain | 55% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | CoSλ | 50% | 42 |
| #9 | Manu | 50% | 78 |
| #10 | EpiczTW | 49% | 187 |
| #11 | Candy In My Pants | 48% | 80 |
| #12 | Jean-Luc Mashallah | 37% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | woxi | 6 | 0.0107 |
| #2 | rromain | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | EpiczTW | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | JOKERztw | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | Manu | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JOKERztw | 534 | 0.26 | 16 min |
| #2 | EpiczTW | 427 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #3 | rromain | 422 | 0.26 | 14 min |
| #4 | Candy In My Pants | 343 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #5 | ♠M A N O W A R♠ | 230 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cyrano de Bergerac | +3.78 | 88 | 66 |
| #2 | JOKERztw | +2.96 | 57 | 87 |
| #3 | yANNNZ | +0.79 | 63 | 74 |
| #4 | woxi | +0.52 | 52 | 79 |
| #5 | Jean-Luc Mashallah | +0.48 | 62 | 64 |





