








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 230 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 159 matches | ||
| Faceit | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2847 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,284 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5291 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3940 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3347 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3706 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $863,225 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 44 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JOKERztw | 56% | 90 |
| #2 | Lolywiz | 55% | 56 |
| #3 | EpiczTW | 54% | 61 |
| #4 | rromain | 54% | 193 |
| #5 | Manu | 52% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | DHealer® | 51% | 39 |
| #8 | Lepoulpe | 51% | 69 |
| #9 | Candy In My Pants | 48% | 102 |
| #10 | Jean-Luc Mashallah | 42% | 52 |
| #11 | woxi | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rromain | 11 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | JOKERztw | 9 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Candy In My Pants | 8 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | DHealer® | 7 | 0.0092 |
| #5 | Jean-Luc Mashallah | 6 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rromain | 1220 | 0.29 | 39 min |
| #2 | JOKERztw | 554 | 0.28 | 15 min |
| #3 | Candy In My Pants | 511 | 0.24 | 13 min |
| #4 | CoSλ | 236 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #5 | Lolywiz | 217 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JOKERztw | +2.43 | 56 | 81 |
| #2 | woxi | +1.29 | 48 | 67 |
| #3 | rromain | +1.03 | 51 | 80 |
| #4 | DHealer® | +0.25 | 56 | 55 |
| #5 | Lolywiz | +0.24 | 72 | 71 |





