








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 53 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 227 matches | ||
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3629 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,934 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6969 | 32% |
| Smokes | 5150 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4830 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4985 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $252,922 of utility $34 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cyrano de Bergerac | 66% | 67 |
| #2 | Candy In My Pants | 60% | 109 |
| #3 | yANNNZ | 58% | 64 |
| #4 | Lolywiz | 57% | 96 |
| #5 | woxi | 57% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | SUCK THA BEAST | 54% | 24 |
| #11 | Manu | 51% | 108 |
| #12 | Jean-Luc Mashallah | 50% | 40 |
| #13 | DBill | 42% | 24 |
| #14 | NR_-' | 40% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rromain | 9 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | woxi | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | CoSλ | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Manu | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Candy In My Pants | 3 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rromain | 1166 | 0.31 | 38 min |
| #2 | Candy In My Pants | 559 | 0.23 | 14 min |
| #3 | CoSλ | 529 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #4 | ♠M A N O W A R♠ | 415 | 0.21 | 12 min |
| #5 | EpiczTW | 398 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cyrano de Bergerac | +3.93 | 85 | 60 |
| #2 | JOKERztw | +2.31 | 56 | 81 |
| #3 | yANNNZ | +1.78 | 63 | 69 |
| #4 | rromain | +0.54 | 50 | 81 |
| #5 | NR_-' | +0.39 | 69 | 75 |





