








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 592 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 229 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 157 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 80 matches | ||
| Premier | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 147 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3862 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,237 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4832 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3402 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 4989 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 3014 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,790,090 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 227 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Kräuter Kühni | 41% | 282 |
| #13 | Richti | 40% | 43 |
| #14 | Piterpat | 39% | 38 |
| #15 | Kitsune | 39% | 102 |
| #16 | Karry | 38% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k4rpy | 38 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | pickemgot(t)me | 34 | 0.0095 |
| #3 | kolalabaer | 33 | 0.0079 |
| #4 | ⓂⒶⓃⒾ | 32 | 0.0079 |
| #5 | Kräuter Kühni | 19 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Liomnat0r | 1161 | 0.32 | 31 min |
| #2 | kolalabaer | 1148 | 0.27 | 26 min |
| #3 | Kräuter Kühni | 1031 | 0.18 | 22 min |
| #4 | k4rpy | 1011 | 0.12 | 25 min |
| #5 | pickemgot(t)me | 810 | 0.23 | 19 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pickemgot(t)me | +3.97 | 75 | 56 |
| #2 | Liomnat0r | +2.94 | 59 | 73 |
| #3 | polalarbeast | +2.50 | 75 | 42 |
| #4 | ⓂⒶⓃⒾ | +2.13 | 66 | 67 |
| #5 | Amorph | +1.94 | 69 | 65 |





