








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 973 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 249 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 132 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 125 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 83 matches | ||
| Wingman | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 112 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




71 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6727 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,163 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11181 | 37% |
| Smokes | 7775 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 6370 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4837 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,404,568 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 161 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | kingdom.29953 | 42% | 108 |
| #11 | AWPortunity | 41% | 207 |
| #12 | Karry | 39% | 56 |
| #13 | Kräuter Kühni | 37% | 149 |
| #14 | c00kie ツ | 36% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k4rpy | 42 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | ⓂⒶⓃⒾ | 25 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | Kuschelbär | 21 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | pickemgot(t)me | 15 | 0.0091 |
| #5 | AWPortunity | 12 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k4rpy | 844 | 0.11 | 23 min |
| #2 | ⓂⒶⓃⒾ | 645 | 0.19 | 17 min |
| #3 | Amorph | 596 | 0.23 | 15 min |
| #4 | AWPortunity | 503 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #5 | Kräuter Kühni | 476 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pickemgot(t)me | +4.23 | 81 | 58 |
| #2 | c00kie ツ | +2.33 | 85 | 77 |
| #3 | Liomnat0r | +1.82 | 56 | 73 |
| #4 | Amorph | +1.03 | 70 | 66 |
| #5 | ⓂⒶⓃⒾ | +1.00 | 68 | 68 |





