








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 572 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 105 matches | ||
| Premier | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 99 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5383 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,082 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6258 | 33% |
| Smokes | 5203 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3547 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 4074 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,146,023 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 203 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | lKi lR o lXl DROP.SKIN | 45% | 33 |
| #10 | kingdom.29953 | 45% | 71 |
| #11 | AWPortunity | 44% | 204 |
| #12 | polalarbeast | 42% | 97 |
| #13 | Kräuter Kühni | 39% | 150 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k4rpy | 27 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | pickemgot(t)me | 19 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | kolalabaer | 17 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | AWPortunity | 13 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | Kuschelbär | 12 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kolalabaer | 963 | 0.28 | 22 min |
| #2 | k4rpy | 594 | 0.11 | 15 min |
| #3 | Kräuter Kühni | 544 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #4 | pickemgot(t)me | 516 | 0.22 | 12 min |
| #5 | Liomnat0r | 509 | 0.31 | 15 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pickemgot(t)me | +2.83 | 82 | 56 |
| #2 | Liomnat0r | +1.61 | 61 | 78 |
| #3 | ⓂⒶⓃⒾ | +1.57 | 66 | 67 |
| #4 | polalarbeast | +1.31 | 73 | 42 |
| #5 | Richti | +1.15 | 52 | 64 |





