








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 861 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 264 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 170 matches | ||
| Premier | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 209 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6778 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,282 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2520 | 15% |
| Smokes | 4989 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4764 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 5009 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,800,554 of utility $220 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 281 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | lKi lR o lXl DROP.SKIN | 43% | 81 |
| #12 | kolalabaer | 43% | 261 |
| #13 | Richti | 43% | 68 |
| #14 | AWPortunity | 43% | 242 |
| #15 | polalarbeast | 33% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k4rpy | 45 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | pickemgot(t)me | 39 | 0.0085 |
| #3 | kolalabaer | 36 | 0.0069 |
| #4 | ⓂⒶⓃⒾ | 21 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | Liomnat0r | 14 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kolalabaer | 1400 | 0.27 | 34 min |
| #2 | Liomnat0r | 1241 | 0.30 | 32 min |
| #3 | k4rpy | 1111 | 0.11 | 28 min |
| #4 | pickemgot(t)me | 998 | 0.22 | 24 min |
| #5 | Kräuter Kühni | 954 | 0.17 | 18 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pickemgot(t)me | +3.46 | 80 | 59 |
| #2 | Liomnat0r | +2.00 | 60 | 74 |
| #3 | Amorph | +1.99 | 70 | 69 |
| #4 | polalarbeast | +1.95 | 76 | 42 |
| #5 | ⓂⒶⓃⒾ | +1.76 | 66 | 66 |





