








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 171 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1190 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,879 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1874 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1579 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 755 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 1671 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $412,104 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Xyan | 49% | 43 |
| #3 | drink | 47% | 99 |
| #4 | Beatwood | 46% | 126 |
| #5 | TimOT | 45% | 146 |
| #6 | flux | 45% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TimOT | 9 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Beatwood | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | drink | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | flux | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TimOT | 804 | 0.28 | 23 min |
| #2 | Beatwood | 410 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #3 | drink | 254 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | flux | 176 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | Xyan | 101 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xyan | +1.54 | 76 | 73 |
| #2 | drink | +1.35 | 55 | 73 |
| #3 | flux | +1.18 | 75 | 63 |
| #4 | TimOT | +0.93 | 73 | 64 |
| #5 | M16man66 | -0.61 | 55 | 72 |





