








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 171 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1190 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,879 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1874 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1579 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 755 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 1671 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $419,404 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StummyDummy | 50% | 8 |
| #2 | Xyan | 49% | 43 |
| #3 | drink | 47% | 99 |
| #4 | Noname | 46% | 126 |
| #5 | Noname | 45% | 146 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Xyan | 49% | 43 |
| #3 | drink | 47% | 99 |
| #4 | Noname | 46% | 126 |
| #5 | Noname | 45% | 146 |
| #6 | Noname | 45% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | 9 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Noname | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | drink | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | Noname | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | 833 | 0.28 | 24 min |
| #2 | Noname | 423 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #3 | drink | 271 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #4 | Noname | 183 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | Xyan | 101 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xyan | +1.54 | 72 | 70 |
| #2 | drink | +1.35 | 52 | 70 |
| #3 | Noname | +1.18 | 71 | 59 |
| #4 | Noname | +0.93 | 69 | 60 |
| #5 | M16man66 | -0.61 | 51 | 69 |





