








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 222 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2684 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,111 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2226 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3121 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1767 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1997 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $667,351 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 196 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZackyB | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | Not GC | 59% | 34 |
| #3 | M16man66 | 49% | 43 |
| #4 | flux | 46% | 138 |
| #5 | drink | 46% | 123 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Not GC | 11 | 0.0184 |
| #2 | Mallooch | 6 | 0.0126 |
| #3 | flux | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Honda Civic Service Man | 3 | 0.0070 |
| #5 | JustMadHatter | 3 | 0.0091 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TimOT | 726 | 0.24 | 21 min |
| #2 | drink | 448 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #3 | Beatwood | 406 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #4 | flux | 257 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | M16man66 | 172 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Not GC | +4.42 | 67 | 59 |
| #2 | Xyan | +2.42 | 80 | 76 |
| #3 | ZackyB | +1.71 | 80 | 69 |
| #4 | drink | +1.30 | 56 | 73 |
| #5 | JustMadHatter | +0.22 | 69 | 60 |





