








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 312 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 152 matches | ||
| Faceit | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3089 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,263 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2957 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4070 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2051 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 3185 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $873,468 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 124 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Subunnah | 57% | 160 |
| #2 | Bling2king12 | 53% | 227 |
| #3 | xJaquar | 51% | 171 |
| #4 | whalebone | 51% | 70 |
| #5 | ice.splice() | 47% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Subunnah | 57% | 160 |
| #2 | Bling2king12 | 53% | 227 |
| #3 | xJaquar | 51% | 171 |
| #4 | whalebone | 51% | 70 |
| #5 | ice.splice() | 47% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bling2king12 | 101 | 0.0214 |
| #2 | Subunnah | 39 | 0.0114 |
| #3 | xJaquar | 11 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | ice.splice() | 6 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | whalebone | 3 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xJaquar | 923 | 0.26 | 23 min |
| #2 | Bling2king12 | 532 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #3 | Subunnah | 392 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #4 | whalebone | 330 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| #5 | ice.splice() | 74 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KorKross | +1.19 | 69 | 68 |
| #2 | Subunnah | +0.91 | 78 | 60 |
| #3 | whalebone | +0.71 | 77 | 60 |
| #4 | xJaquar | -0.19 | 62 | 76 |
| #5 | Bling2king12 | -0.78 | 74 | 48 |





