








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 768 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 261 matches | ||
| Faceit | 203 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5486 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,502 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2433 | 19% |
| Smokes | 4119 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3343 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2607 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,447,114 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1401 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SL33PYX | 56% | 61 |
| #2 | Hooligan | 56% | 45 |
| #3 | MedleyPop | 54% | 57 |
| #4 | StuZx | 52% | 97 |
| #5 | Galaxy | 47% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Hooligan | 56% | 45 |
| #3 | MedleyPop | 54% | 57 |
| #4 | StuZx | 52% | 97 |
| #5 | Galaxy | 47% | 55 |
| #6 | gruntsrule_ | 43% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MedleyPop | 18 | 0.0163 |
| #2 | Galaxy | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Hooligan | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | SL33PYX | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | gruntsrule_ | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StuZx | 285 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | SL33PYX | 157 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | Hooligan | 132 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | gruntsrule_ | 65 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Galaxy | 64 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MedleyPop | +2.37 | 61 | 46 |
| #2 | Hooligan | +1.65 | 67 | 58 |
| #3 | SL33PYX | +0.86 | 58 | 62 |
| #4 | bryant | +0.50 | 74 | 51 |
| #5 | StuZx | +0.38 | 74 | 65 |





