








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 138 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1417 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,838 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1105 | 29% |
| Smokes | 872 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1053 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 808 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $330,055 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 102 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shady | 100% | 9 |
| #2 | ⚡️stuzzyz⚡ | 100% | 15 |
| #3 | StuZx | 68% | 19 |
| #4 | MedleyPop | 63% | 8 |
| #5 | bryant | 56% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | MedleyPop | 63% | 8 |
| #5 | bryant | 56% | 61 |
| #6 | p0p1g | 46% | 13 |
| #7 | wrench | 43% | 14 |
| #8 | Pallas | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bryant | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | StuZx | 1 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | wrench | 1 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | p0p1g | 1 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | Pallas | 1 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StuZx | 65 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #2 | p0p1g | 62 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| #3 | bryant | 59 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | ⚡️stuzzyz⚡ | 42 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | wrench | 39 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⚡️stuzzyz⚡ | +5.17 | 95 | 38 |
| #2 | wrench | +2.43 | 71 | 63 |
| #3 | MedleyPop | +1.76 | 69 | 48 |
| #4 | SL33PYX | +1.71 | 51 | 53 |
| #5 | shady | +1.45 | 69 | 58 |





