








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 79 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1861 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,595 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1242 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1058 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1320 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 975 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $445,115 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 66 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wrench | 83% | 12 |
| #2 | ⚡️stuzzyz⚡ | 76% | 21 |
| #3 | bryant | 56% | 45 |
| #4 | Pallas | 53% | 45 |
| #5 | StuZx | 50% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | bryant | 56% | 45 |
| #4 | Pallas | 53% | 45 |
| #5 | StuZx | 50% | 46 |
| #6 | MedleyPop | 45% | 22 |
| #7 | p0p1g | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bryant | 10 | 0.0099 |
| #2 | MedleyPop | 6 | 0.0138 |
| #3 | ⚡️stuzzyz⚡ | 3 | 0.0069 |
| #4 | Pallas | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | p0p1g | 2 | 0.0077 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pallas | 139 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #2 | StuZx | 116 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | ⚡️stuzzyz⚡ | 54 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | bryant | 45 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | MedleyPop | 37 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⚡️stuzzyz⚡ | +6.00 | 91 | 69 |
| #2 | wrench | +4.37 | 81 | 63 |
| #3 | MedleyPop | +2.05 | 68 | 44 |
| #4 | Hooligan | +1.66 | 67 | 61 |
| #5 | StuZx | +0.54 | 71 | 63 |





