








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 617 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 302 matches | ||
| Faceit | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4637 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,333 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3799 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3979 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4549 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 3006 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $713,821 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 342 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pallas | 56% | 54 |
| #2 | subi | 54% | 72 |
| #3 | bryant | 52% | 97 |
| #4 | Moet The Black Scream | 50% | 32 |
| #5 | Hooligan | 50% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | subi | 54% | 72 |
| #3 | bryant | 52% | 97 |
| #4 | Moet The Black Scream | 50% | 32 |
| #5 | Hooligan | 50% | 46 |
| #6 | p0p1g | 40% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bryant | 8 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | subi | 6 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Pallas | 5 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | Moet The Black Scream | 5 | 0.0075 |
| #5 | p0p1g | 5 | 0.0080 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pallas | 199 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #2 | subi | 143 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | p0p1g | 102 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | Hooligan | 93 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | bryant | 80 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | subi | +2.44 | 88 | 57 |
| #2 | bryant | +1.17 | 75 | 50 |
| #3 | Hooligan | +0.89 | 62 | 57 |
| #4 | StuZx | +0.50 | 70 | 59 |
| #5 | Moet The Black Scream | +0.50 | 83 | 51 |





