








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 282 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 239 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2593 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,957 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2044 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1861 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1936 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2116 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $991,158 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 272 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 4 | 68% | 28 |
| #2 | Zeej | 62% | 21 |
| #3 | ✪Sword | 56% | 16 |
| #4 | yup | 56% | 25 |
| #5 | SHDYNASTY | 52% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Shoodyman | 49% | 59 |
| #9 | piK | 47% | 66 |
| #10 | bmax | 43% | 14 |
| #11 | Arctic | 43% | 21 |
| #12 | Mythik | 43% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | piK | 292 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #2 | Shoodyman | 233 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #3 | yup | 156 | 0.27 | 4 min |
| #4 | Mythik | 119 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #5 | 4 | 95 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 4 | +2.58 | 69 | 73 |
| #2 | Shoodyman | +1.83 | 84 | 69 |
| #3 | yup | +1.82 | 79 | 63 |
| #4 | piK | +0.97 | 74 | 67 |
| #5 | Zeej | +0.95 | 67 | 63 |





