








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 93 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 670 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6995 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,083 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8524 | 30% |
| Smokes | 5827 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 6233 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 7499 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,284,150 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 151 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Arctic | 62% | 105 |
| #2 | alrightdude | 59% | 46 |
| #3 | yup | 57% | 201 |
| #4 | Shoodyman | 56% | 278 |
| #5 | Mythik | 56% | 148 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | yup | 57% | 201 |
| #4 | Shoodyman | 56% | 278 |
| #5 | Mythik | 56% | 148 |
| #6 | LiquidRenner | 54% | 127 |
| #7 | Charles Lecroc | 47% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mythik | 9 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Arctic | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Shoodyman | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #4 | LiquidRenner | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | alrightdude | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yup | 1223 | 0.27 | 29 min |
| #2 | Shoodyman | 992 | 0.16 | 25 min |
| #3 | Mythik | 658 | 0.21 | 16 min |
| #4 | LiquidRenner | 600 | 0.22 | 13 min |
| #5 | Arctic | 404 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yup | +2.43 | 81 | 60 |
| #2 | Shoodyman | +1.35 | 83 | 66 |
| #3 | piK | +0.42 | 77 | 64 |
| #4 | Arctic | -0.36 | 69 | 57 |
| #5 | LiquidRenner | -0.53 | 86 | 57 |





