








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
940 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,876 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 880 | 31% |
| Smokes | 708 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 708 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 580 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $290,998 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SynteC_ | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | Shevalo | 83% | 6 |
| #3 | rootexecute | 67% | 9 |
| #4 | 🗿⃤⃢j🍷nzN^__^ | 63% | 16 |
| #5 | fenris | 61% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ KOLLY | 6 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | fenris | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | 🗿⃤⃢j🍷nzN^__^ | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ KOLLY | 259 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #2 | 🗿⃤⃢j🍷nzN^__^ | 58 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #3 | N O R D Q V 1 S T | 42 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | fenris | 37 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | PRiX' Saiyajin | 37 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N O R D Q V 1 S T | +3.43 | 85 | 65 |
| #2 | fenris | +1.38 | 77 | 73 |
| #3 | SynteC_ | +0.94 | 81 | 75 |
| #4 | PRiX' Saiyajin | +0.53 | 64 | 62 |
| #5 | Night | +0.20 | 75 | 63 |





