








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 399 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 60 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4065 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,896 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7715 | 34% |
| Smokes | 5153 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5511 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4517 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $667,621 of utility $64 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2186 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Night | 59% | 63 |
| #2 | SynteC_ | 54% | 57 |
| #3 | SirDennis | 52% | 64 |
| #4 | Kenion | 51% | 263 |
| #5 | 🗿⃤⃢j🍷nzN^__^ | 51% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | 🗿⃤⃢j🍷nzN^__^ | 51% | 80 |
| #6 | N O R D Q V 1 S T | 50% | 129 |
| #7 | fenris | 50% | 129 |
| #8 | Chōsō | 49% | 67 |
| #9 | rootexecute | 45% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chōsō | 12 | 0.0084 |
| #2 | Kenion | 10 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | fenris | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | rootexecute | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Night | 4 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kenion | 507 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #2 | 🗿⃤⃢j🍷nzN^__^ | 295 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #3 | Night | 210 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | rootexecute | 205 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | N O R D Q V 1 S T | 143 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N O R D Q V 1 S T | +2.01 | 81 | 64 |
| #2 | fenris | +1.58 | 79 | 73 |
| #3 | Chōsō | +0.88 | 71 | 49 |
| #4 | Night | +0.53 | 76 | 65 |
| #5 | SynteC_ | +0.50 | 84 | 73 |





