








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 630 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 304 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 89 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2953 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,703 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4387 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4095 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3762 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3459 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,747,310 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 389 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Iиstiлctツ | 52% | 27 |
| #2 | BlastyBlast | 48% | 67 |
| #3 | Ragnaration | 46% | 423 |
| #4 | King Klósett | 45% | 231 |
| #5 | [Democrat] Joe Biden | 44% | 347 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ragnaration | 16 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | [Democrat] Joe Biden | 10 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | King Klósett | 9 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | BlastyBlast | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Ulli | 2 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [Democrat] Joe Biden | 689 | 0.09 | 19 min |
| #2 | Ragnaration | 616 | 0.07 | 12 min |
| #3 | King Klósett | 430 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #4 | alephnullxd | 216 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #5 | BlastyBlast | 131 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Iиstiлctツ | +4.66 | 88 | 73 |
| #2 | alephnullxd | +4.06 | 71 | 72 |
| #3 | King Klósett | +2.65 | 72 | 50 |
| #4 | BlastyBlast | +1.62 | 53 | 47 |
| #5 | Ulli | +1.41 | 72 | 49 |





