








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 637 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 137 matches | ||
| Premier | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3060 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,552 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1811 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1799 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2796 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 1146 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,298,661 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 858 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | King Klósett | 52% | 33 |
| #2 | Bogi | 48% | 67 |
| #3 | alephnullxd | 48% | 21 |
| #4 | Ragnaration | 44% | 77 |
| #5 | [Democrat] Joe Biden | 42% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | King Klósett | 52% | 33 |
| #2 | Bogi | 48% | 67 |
| #3 | alephnullxd | 48% | 21 |
| #4 | Ragnaration | 44% | 77 |
| #5 | [Democrat] Joe Biden | 42% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [Democrat] Joe Biden | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Ragnaration | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | Bogi | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bogi | 120 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #2 | [Democrat] Joe Biden | 103 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | Ragnaration | 96 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | alephnullxd | 92 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #5 | King Klósett | 64 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | King Klósett | +4.56 | 73 | 41 |
| #2 | alephnullxd | +3.54 | 78 | 74 |
| #3 | BlastyBlast | +1.62 | 65 | 49 |
| #4 | Bogi | -1.86 | 30 | 67 |
| #5 | [Democrat] Joe Biden | -1.94 | 18 | 75 |





