








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 409 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4300 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,929 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4337 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3030 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 4380 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4182 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $140,080 of utility $16 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zef | 88% | 25 |
| #2 | ANTI VENOM | 62% | 45 |
| #3 | Waylander | 60% | 78 |
| #4 | Taboozle | 57% | 124 |
| #5 | NadeZ | 57% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Taboozle | 57% | 124 |
| #5 | NadeZ | 57% | 56 |
| #6 | Thiccy | 57% | 145 |
| #7 | Prophesier Crazy | 52% | 178 |
| #8 | SatiVa | 50% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Waylander | 12 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | Taboozle | 10 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Prophesier Crazy | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | NadeZ | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | ANTI VENOM | 3 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prophesier Crazy | 432 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #2 | NadeZ | 209 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #3 | Thiccy | 173 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | Taboozle | 161 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | zef | 109 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zef | +5.87 | 94 | 65 |
| #2 | Scatimoosh | +2.68 | 68 | 63 |
| #3 | Taboozle | +1.40 | 83 | 56 |
| #4 | ANTI VENOM | +1.31 | 94 | 56 |
| #5 | NadeZ | +0.75 | 83 | 57 |





