








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 301 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 780 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7316 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,343 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6575 | 26% |
| Smokes | 7820 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 6541 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4407 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,183,794 of utility $186 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2865 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Taboozle | 51% | 278 |
| #7 | Haineko 灰猫 | 51% | 79 |
| #8 | Waylander | 47% | 214 |
| #9 | Thiccy | 46% | 84 |
| #10 | ANTI VENOM | 41% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Waylander | 31 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | Taboozle | 16 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Schmetterling | 16 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | Scatimoosh | 15 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | NadeZ | 8 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scatimoosh | +3.25 | 69 | 61 |
| #2 | NadeZ | +2.35 | 83 | 62 |
| #3 | Schmetterling | +2.20 | 89 | 62 |
| #4 | ANTI VENOM | +2.00 | 94 | 46 |
| #5 | Taboozle | +1.79 | 86 | 63 |





