








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 135 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 683 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9715 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,526 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5075 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4348 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4319 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4784 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,643,491 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1000 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gatteka | 60% | 40 |
| #2 | NadeZ | 58% | 191 |
| #3 | Scatimoosh | 57% | 124 |
| #4 | Thiccy | 57% | 42 |
| #5 | Waylander | 57% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NadeZ | 19 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Scatimoosh | 14 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | Haineko 灰猫 | 13 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Prophesier Crazy | 10 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | SatiVa | 10 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prophesier Crazy | 621 | 0.11 | 16 min |
| #2 | NadeZ | 599 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #3 | Haineko 灰猫 | 398 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | Scatimoosh | 370 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #5 | SatiVa | 356 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scatimoosh | +3.05 | 68 | 63 |
| #2 | ANTI VENOM | +2.44 | 96 | 54 |
| #3 | Taboozle | +1.52 | 85 | 61 |
| #4 | NadeZ | +1.23 | 79 | 58 |
| #5 | SatiVa | +1.12 | 83 | 59 |





