








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1386 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 399 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 139 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




64 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7264 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,264 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6123 | 34% |
| Smokes | 3871 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 6425 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1845 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,414,585 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 237 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smet | 65% | 60 |
| #2 | DenYosh | 58% | 67 |
| #3 | Verdwaalde Man | 55% | 44 |
| #4 | Pipmitz | 52% | 278 |
| #5 | Alone | 52% | 361 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smet | 65% | 60 |
| #2 | DenYosh | 58% | 67 |
| #3 | Verdwaalde Man | 55% | 44 |
| #4 | Pipmitz | 52% | 278 |
| #5 | Alone | 52% | 361 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pipmitz | 45 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | Alone | 23 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | DenYosh | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Smet | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alone | 484 | 0.07 | 12 min |
| #2 | Pipmitz | 379 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #3 | DenYosh | 188 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | Verdwaalde Man | 186 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #5 | Smet | 97 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𓀐 John | +2.62 | 78 | 65 |
| #2 | Pipmitz | +2.05 | 84 | 57 |
| #3 | DenYosh | -0.64 | 61 | 53 |
| #4 | Alone | -1.26 | 28 | 61 |
| #5 | Smet | -3.66 | 30 | 36 |





