








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 97 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
359 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,297 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 406 | 31% |
| Smokes | 288 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 284 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 319 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $111,090 of utility $63 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KAARIS | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | DenYosh | 75% | 8 |
| #3 | 𓀐 John | 65% | 60 |
| #4 | Pipmitz | 55% | 82 |
| #5 | Verdwaalde Man | 53% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pipmitz | 139 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #2 | 𓀐 John | 119 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | Verdwaalde Man | 90 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #4 | Alone | 54 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | Shaggy | 25 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𓀐 John | +6.03 | 82 | 67 |
| #2 | Pipmitz | +5.40 | 86 | 55 |
| #3 | KAARIS | +1.03 | 53 | 58 |
| #4 | DenYosh | +0.48 | 58 | 54 |
| #5 | Alone | -0.14 | 33 | 63 |





