








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 81 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
285 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,128 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 606 | 54% |
| Smokes | 284 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 31 | 3% |
| Molotovs | 207 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $146,500 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𓀐 John | 55% | 44 |
| #2 | Alone | 53% | 47 |
| #3 | Smet | 53% | 19 |
| #4 | Pipmitz | 51% | 43 |
| #5 | DenYosh | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𓀐 John | 55% | 44 |
| #2 | Alone | 53% | 47 |
| #3 | Smet | 53% | 19 |
| #4 | Pipmitz | 51% | 43 |
| #5 | DenYosh | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pipmitz | 17 | 0.0193 |
| #2 | 𓀐 John | 9 | 0.0100 |
| #3 | Alone | 5 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𓀐 John | 109 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #2 | Alone | 75 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | Pipmitz | 72 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Smet | 35 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | DenYosh | 34 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𓀐 John | +4.86 | 82 | 65 |
| #2 | Pipmitz | +4.71 | 86 | 61 |
| #3 | Alone | +1.62 | 28 | 65 |
| #4 | DenYosh | -2.18 | 54 | 49 |
| #5 | Smet | -3.91 | 35 | 31 |





