








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 613 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 266 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




68 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5090 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,459 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3900 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3909 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4998 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4652 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $982,573 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 401 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smet | 55% | 82 |
| #2 | DenYosh | 52% | 44 |
| #3 | 𓀐 John | 52% | 278 |
| #4 | Verdwaalde Man | 51% | 43 |
| #5 | KAARIS | 50% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | 𓀐 John | 52% | 278 |
| #4 | Verdwaalde Man | 51% | 43 |
| #5 | KAARIS | 50% | 60 |
| #6 | Alone | 47% | 229 |
| #7 | Shaggy | 39% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𓀐 John | 37 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | Alone | 19 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | KAARIS | 5 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | DenYosh | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Smet | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𓀐 John | 580 | 0.10 | 15 min |
| #2 | Alone | 324 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #3 | Verdwaalde Man | 190 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #4 | DenYosh | 123 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | Smet | 111 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𓀐 John | +2.48 | 80 | 65 |
| #2 | Pipmitz | +1.82 | 85 | 57 |
| #3 | KAARIS | +0.56 | 54 | 53 |
| #4 | Alone | -1.15 | 30 | 62 |
| #5 | DenYosh | -1.22 | 64 | 54 |





