










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 768 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 137 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1476 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,709 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 706 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1303 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1622 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1078 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $639,438 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 192 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jono | 58% | 43 |
| #2 | tjubster | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | kenneth | 56% | 18 |
| #4 | valararararygayko | 52% | 31 |
| #5 | Kasper Klunkesmasker | 51% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | LÜH PERC 30 ⛟ | 51% | 90 |
| #7 | Miggy Almiron | 50% | 18 |
| #8 | adi ! | 42% | 12 |
| #9 | cheeseball | 40% | 20 |
| #10 | nuzzi | 38% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kasper Klunkesmasker | 8 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | cheeseball | 6 | 0.0146 |
| #3 | valararararygayko | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | tjubster | 2 | 0.0070 |
| #5 | LÜH PERC 30 ⛟ | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kasper Klunkesmasker | 401 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #2 | LÜH PERC 30 ⛟ | 112 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | nuzzi | 105 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | tjubster | 76 | 0.27 | 1 min |
| #5 | cheeseball | 74 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Miggy Almiron | +5.27 | 75 | 67 |
| #2 | tjubster | +2.51 | 81 | 63 |
| #3 | Bop | +1.83 | 65 | 59 |
| #4 | cheeseball | +1.67 | 71 | 62 |
| #5 | kenneth | +0.26 | 56 | 33 |





