








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 175 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 105 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1028 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,727 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 506 | 29% |
| Smokes | 398 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 749 | 43% |
| Molotovs | 74 | 4% |
Our logs show you have wasted $432,185 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 466 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jono | 60% | 20 |
| #2 | tjubster | 55% | 11 |
| #3 | Bop | 51% | 90 |
| #4 | Miggy Almiron | 46% | 13 |
| #5 | Kasper Klunkesmasker | 43% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Kasper Klunkesmasker | 43% | 92 |
| #6 | cheeseball | 43% | 14 |
| #7 | valararararygayko | 38% | 24 |
| #8 | kenneth | 36% | 25 |
| #9 | nuzzi | 24% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kasper Klunkesmasker | 10 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | cheeseball | 8 | 0.0271 |
| #3 | Bop | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | kenneth | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | valararararygayko | 2 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kasper Klunkesmasker | 338 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #2 | Bop | 153 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | nuzzi | 89 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | tjubster | 74 | 0.34 | 2 min |
| #5 | kenneth | 51 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Miggy Almiron | +4.16 | 76 | 71 |
| #2 | tjubster | +3.48 | 79 | 63 |
| #3 | Bop | +1.70 | 61 | 60 |
| #4 | kenneth | +0.71 | 64 | 43 |
| #5 | cheeseball | +0.63 | 66 | 62 |





