








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 743 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 192 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 176 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1866 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,410 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1217 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1391 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1129 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 673 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,130,630 of utility $235 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 554 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | adi ! | 57% | 44 |
| #2 | jono | 53% | 133 |
| #3 | Bop | 52% | 31 |
| #4 | Miggy Almiron | 47% | 77 |
| #5 | nuzzi | 43% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | nuzzi | 43% | 80 |
| #6 | Kasper Klunkesmasker | 42% | 33 |
| #7 | cheeseball | 41% | 68 |
| #8 | butter | 41% | 66 |
| #9 | LÜH PERC 30 ⛟ | 38% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cheeseball | 23 | 0.0162 |
| #2 | butter | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | jono | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | nuzzi | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Kasper Klunkesmasker | 2 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nuzzi | 293 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #2 | cheeseball | 257 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #3 | Miggy Almiron | 145 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | jono | 87 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | Kasper Klunkesmasker | 77 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Miggy Almiron | +4.32 | 83 | 69 |
| #2 | Bop | +1.65 | 59 | 60 |
| #3 | cheeseball | +0.55 | 67 | 57 |
| #4 | jono | +0.06 | 57 | 51 |
| #5 | nuzzi | -0.09 | 72 | 60 |





