








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 601 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 128 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 87 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1229 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,364 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2125 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1508 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1520 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1211 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $499,239 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 734 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tjubster | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | jono | 56% | 41 |
| #3 | Bop | 51% | 113 |
| #4 | adi ! | 50% | 10 |
| #5 | kenneth | 50% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | LÜH PERC 30 ⛟ | 43% | 92 |
| #7 | valararararygayko | 42% | 33 |
| #8 | Miggy Almiron | 30% | 20 |
| #9 | cheeseball | 28% | 25 |
| #10 | nuzzi | 18% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cheeseball | 13 | 0.0250 |
| #2 | valararararygayko | 6 | 0.0086 |
| #3 | Bop | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | LÜH PERC 30 ⛟ | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | nuzzi | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bop | 185 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #2 | LÜH PERC 30 ⛟ | 125 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | nuzzi | 88 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | cheeseball | 81 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | tjubster | 69 | 0.33 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Miggy Almiron | +4.49 | 76 | 68 |
| #2 | tjubster | +3.43 | 79 | 63 |
| #3 | Bop | +1.99 | 65 | 60 |
| #4 | kenneth | +0.58 | 54 | 46 |
| #5 | valararararygayko | -0.05 | 59 | 40 |





