








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 673 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 134 matches | ||
| Faceit | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2310 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,099 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2104 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1711 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 732 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 1552 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $843,246 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 164 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lexon | 71% | 28 |
| #2 | reflexx | 67% | 96 |
| #3 | Evil | 65% | 51 |
| #4 | Tarus | 64% | 91 |
| #5 | Coxy | 63% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Evil | 65% | 51 |
| #4 | Tarus | 64% | 91 |
| #5 | Coxy | 63% | 54 |
| #6 | sourdough | 59% | 17 |
| #7 | risen | 56% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | reflexx | 11 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | Tarus | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Lexon | 3 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | Coxy | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Evil | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Coxy | 280 | 0.24 | 7 min |
| #2 | Tarus | 279 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #3 | reflexx | 264 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #4 | Evil | 252 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #5 | risen | 234 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lexon | +2.10 | 94 | 59 |
| #2 | Tarus | +2.05 | 63 | 68 |
| #3 | AWorks | +1.40 | 91 | 51 |
| #4 | risen | +1.10 | 72 | 59 |
| #5 | Evil | +0.95 | 82 | 64 |





