








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 310 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 128 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4829 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,922 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3323 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2545 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2837 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3217 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $627,493 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1108 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zundo | 80% | 30 |
| #2 | Larks (New Mousepad) | 75% | 85 |
| #3 | AWorks | 71% | 28 |
| #4 | Tarus | 71% | 34 |
| #5 | ✪ George | 65% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Tarus | 71% | 34 |
| #5 | ✪ George | 65% | 43 |
| #6 | Deshaun Blackson (not trying) | 64% | 73 |
| #7 | reflexx | 62% | 251 |
| #8 | Smegz | 60% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | reflexx | 108 | 0.0219 |
| #2 | Deshaun Blackson (not trying) | 23 | 0.0165 |
| #3 | Smegz | 20 | 0.0153 |
| #4 | zundo | 10 | 0.0180 |
| #5 | ✪ George | 9 | 0.0103 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | reflexx | 964 | 0.20 | 24 min |
| #2 | Deshaun Blackson (not trying) | 199 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | Smegz | 154 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | Larks (New Mousepad) | 139 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | AWorks | 106 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lexon | +3.48 | 90 | 59 |
| #2 | Tarus | +3.13 | 71 | 57 |
| #3 | Deshaun Blackson (not trying) | +2.39 | 81 | 53 |
| #4 | zundo | +1.87 | 72 | 54 |
| #5 | AWorks | +1.18 | 94 | 48 |





