








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 602 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 144 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1563 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,140 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1951 | 38% |
| Smokes | 1051 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 875 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1263 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $638,741 of utility $195 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 291 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | reflexx | 80% | 20 |
| #2 | dEtEn | 71% | 24 |
| #3 | Tarus | 63% | 60 |
| #4 | Evil | 63% | 68 |
| #5 | AWorks | 63% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Tarus | 63% | 60 |
| #4 | Evil | 63% | 68 |
| #5 | AWorks | 63% | 54 |
| #6 | risen | 57% | 88 |
| #7 | sourdough | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tarus | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | AWorks | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | risen | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Evil | 376 | 0.26 | 10 min |
| #2 | risen | 302 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #3 | AWorks | 271 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #4 | Tarus | 197 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | dEtEn | 90 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tarus | +1.94 | 67 | 72 |
| #2 | AWorks | +1.85 | 94 | 49 |
| #3 | Evil | +1.04 | 83 | 64 |
| #4 | dEtEn | +0.90 | 84 | 41 |
| #5 | risen | +0.22 | 68 | 61 |





