








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1880 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 529 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 130 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 94 matches | ||
| Faceit | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




229 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8578 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 34,191 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11180 | 33% |
| Smokes | 6825 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 8791 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 7395 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,527,989 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1259 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Evil | 72% | 67 |
| #2 | Deshaun Blackson (not trying) | 70% | 73 |
| #3 | risen | 67% | 79 |
| #4 | Tarus | 67% | 247 |
| #5 | AWorks | 67% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Lexon | 62% | 251 |
| #8 | ✪ George | 61% | 79 |
| #9 | Nylexis | 56% | 55 |
| #10 | Smegz | 55% | 154 |
| #11 | idoit 💀 | 49% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smegz | 31 | 0.0100 |
| #2 | idoit 💀 | 30 | 0.0159 |
| #3 | Lexon | 29 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | ✪ George | 24 | 0.0151 |
| #5 | Deshaun Blackson (not trying) | 20 | 0.0140 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lexon | 769 | 0.16 | 20 min |
| #2 | Tarus | 673 | 0.13 | 19 min |
| #3 | Evil | 390 | 0.27 | 12 min |
| #4 | Smegz | 367 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #5 | idoit 💀 | 364 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lexon | +3.55 | 90 | 58 |
| #2 | zundo | +3.51 | 78 | 56 |
| #3 | Tarus | +3.16 | 71 | 64 |
| #4 | risen | +2.46 | 77 | 60 |
| #5 | Deshaun Blackson (not trying) | +1.54 | 82 | 50 |





