








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2044 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 419 matches | ||
| Faceit | 298 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 80 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11096 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 41,505 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11820 | 28% |
| Smokes | 10980 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 10294 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 8411 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,819,271 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5356 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | reflexx | 72% | 67 |
| #2 | Tarus | 65% | 84 |
| #3 | AWorks | 65% | 51 |
| #4 | Man Milker | 63% | 52 |
| #5 | LaCorpse | 63% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Man Milker | 63% | 52 |
| #5 | LaCorpse | 63% | 71 |
| #6 | Coxy | 63% | 68 |
| #7 | WHIRR | 60% | 412 |
| #8 | risen | 56% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LaCorpse | 8 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | reflexx | 6 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | WHIRR | 4 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | risen | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Tarus | 3 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WHIRR | 1061 | 0.12 | 25 min |
| #2 | Coxy | 325 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #3 | Tarus | 286 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #4 | risen | 285 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #5 | AWorks | 241 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Evil | +2.87 | 84 | 68 |
| #2 | Man Milker | +2.42 | 84 | 63 |
| #3 | Tarus | +1.65 | 63 | 67 |
| #4 | LaCorpse | +1.56 | 79 | 32 |
| #5 | AWorks | +1.13 | 91 | 52 |





