








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 814 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 258 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 71 matches | ||
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5847 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,674 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4992 | 27% |
| Smokes | 6207 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2512 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 4963 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,392,582 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 125 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | strelok_ | 70% | 40 |
| #2 | Gumboot | 70% | 193 |
| #3 | J@CK XDDD | 68% | 197 |
| #4 | Frog Lord | 67% | 54 |
| #5 | B1gDaddyA | 67% | 180 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chowder | 24 | 0.0179 |
| #2 | B1gDaddyA | 22 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | J@CK XDDD | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | hostage1337 | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Gumboot | 5 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Mutton | 1331 | 0.30 | 42 min |
| #2 | Banss | 392 | 0.27 | 12 min |
| #3 | hostage1337 | 381 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #4 | chowder | 367 | 0.27 | 9 min |
| #5 | Gumboot | 336 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chowder | +3.47 | 63 | 81 |
| #2 | JTrops | +3.17 | 75 | 69 |
| #3 | B1gDaddyA | +2.02 | 73 | 46 |
| #4 | Mr. Mutton | +1.34 | 60 | 83 |
| #5 | Dirk Diggler | +1.22 | 83 | 66 |





