








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 854 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 158 matches | ||
| Faceit | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 56 matches | ||
| Wingman | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 25 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5906 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,894 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3392 | 20% |
| Smokes | 5151 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3826 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4525 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,280,078 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 421 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JTrops | 70% | 193 |
| #2 | B1gDaddyA | 64% | 425 |
| #3 | Mr. Mutton | 62% | 489 |
| #4 | hostage1337 | 62% | 185 |
| #5 | J@CK XDDD | 62% | 465 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | J@CK XDDD | 62% | 465 |
| #6 | Frog Lord | 61% | 276 |
| #7 | strelok_ | 61% | 97 |
| #8 | Tryst | 60% | 126 |
| #9 | Detective Shaggy© | 51% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | B1gDaddyA | 83 | 0.0098 |
| #2 | hostage1337 | 21 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | J@CK XDDD | 15 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | JTrops | 14 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | Mr. Mutton | 11 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Mutton | 3159 | 0.32 | 107 min |
| #2 | JTrops | 577 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #3 | J@CK XDDD | 505 | 0.05 | 12 min |
| #4 | Tryst | 452 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #5 | B1gDaddyA | 422 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JTrops | +3.39 | 79 | 68 |
| #2 | B1gDaddyA | +2.79 | 77 | 40 |
| #3 | Mr. Mutton | +1.58 | 63 | 84 |
| #4 | J@CK XDDD | +0.60 | 63 | 54 |
| #5 | Gumboot | +0.54 | 76 | 51 |





