








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 80 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 151 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2383 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,505 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3033 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3054 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3007 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2411 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $531,613 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ƮأϞ | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | Tasiloooo | 63% | 41 |
| #3 | ⓡⓤⓕⓕⓨ | 54% | 96 |
| #4 | traderjoe | 51% | 65 |
| #5 | MarcDerBoi | 47% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ⓡⓤⓕⓕⓨ | 54% | 96 |
| #4 | traderjoe | 51% | 65 |
| #5 | MarcDerBoi | 47% | 87 |
| #6 | Vrodon | 44% | 36 |
| #7 | Tasilooo | 32% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | traderjoe | 5 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | ⓡⓤⓕⓕⓨ | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Vrodon | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Tasilooo | 3 | 0.0082 |
| #5 | MarcDerBoi | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⓡⓤⓕⓕⓨ | 279 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | Vrodon | 222 | 0.29 | 5 min |
| #3 | traderjoe | 198 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | Tasiloooo | 152 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | MarcDerBoi | 101 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | traderjoe | +2.95 | 68 | 68 |
| #2 | ƮأϞ | +2.61 | 60 | 82 |
| #3 | Tasiloooo | +0.99 | 68 | 67 |
| #4 | donotteam | +0.78 | 52 | 64 |
| #5 | ⓡⓤⓕⓕⓨ | -0.25 | 56 | 61 |





