








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
546 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 654 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 295 | 45% |
| Smokes | 161 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 179 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 19 | 3% |
Our logs show you have wasted $119,262 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m2 | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | TravyG | 77% | 22 |
| #3 | baby boss | 67% | 3 |
| #4 | Coffee Black | 67% | 3 |
| #5 | Endless | 57% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Esus | 55% | 38 |
| #8 | Emperor Fish | 55% | 20 |
| #9 | RGB | 53% | 32 |
| #10 | keisuke!悲しい | 25% | 8 |
| #11 | Factent | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RGB | 3 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | Emperor Fish | 3 | 0.0091 |
| #3 | Esus | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | TravyG | 1 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | m2 | 1 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Esus | 70 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #2 | TravyG | 68 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | m2 | 37 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #4 | RGB | 22 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | Big Bacon | 17 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m2 | +5.62 | 81 | 52 |
| #2 | TravyG | +3.61 | 55 | 67 |
| #3 | keisuke!悲しい | +2.69 | 71 | 38 |
| #4 | Endless | +2.40 | 66 | 35 |
| #5 | baby boss | +2.31 | 78 | 55 |





