








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 31 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 118 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1567 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,250 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1129 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1093 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 683 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 345 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $317,250 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m2 | 83% | 12 |
| #2 | TravyG | 62% | 68 |
| #3 | Big Bacon | 58% | 53 |
| #4 | CombatRT | 55% | 20 |
| #5 | Endless | 54% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Endless | 54% | 28 |
| #6 | Coffee Black | 50% | 12 |
| #7 | Esus | 43% | 42 |
| #8 | RGB | 42% | 60 |
| #9 | keisuke!悲しい | 25% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RGB | 5 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Esus | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Endless | 2 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | keisuke!悲しい | 2 | 0.0065 |
| #5 | TravyG | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TravyG | 181 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #2 | m2 | 56 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #3 | RGB | 55 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Esus | 55 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Big Bacon | 29 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TravyG | +4.30 | 70 | 63 |
| #2 | m2 | +2.53 | 78 | 46 |
| #3 | keisuke!悲しい | +1.19 | 74 | 38 |
| #4 | Endless | +0.85 | 76 | 37 |
| #5 | Esus | -0.69 | 52 | 45 |





