








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 148 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 157 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3994 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,874 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3355 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3970 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1892 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2657 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $640,249 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 214 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | m3 | 50% | 22 |
| #13 | RGB | 50% | 36 |
| #14 | Poop "Poop" Master | 24% | 25 |
| #15 | Skadaddy | 21% | 24 |
| #16 | Piss Master | 17% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Endless | 11 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Coffee Black | 4 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | Dark | 4 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | Big Bacon | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Jersey Jerry | 3 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Endless | 146 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #2 | Factent | 138 | 0.30 | 3 min |
| #3 | Big Bacon | 134 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #4 | m2 | 121 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | Emperor Fish | 111 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m2 | +3.66 | 80 | 48 |
| #2 | m3 | +2.45 | 86 | 47 |
| #3 | Dark | +2.24 | 69 | 60 |
| #4 | TravyG | +2.03 | 67 | 59 |
| #5 | Factent | +1.32 | 78 | 56 |





