








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 962 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




60 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4013 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,853 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1464 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1965 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1853 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1571 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $803,090 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 163 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Angbwa | 78% | 37 |
| #2 | Battlescarred Bumhole | 68% | 28 |
| #3 | CREAM | 63% | 57 |
| #4 | DDOUBLEE | 63% | 27 |
| #5 | Pitton | 55% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CREAM | 14 | 0.0128 |
| #2 | bond | 13 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | | Mini | the swag boi | 12 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | Trilted | 9 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | SJA | 8 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bond | 306 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #2 | | Mini | the swag boi | 217 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | Trilted | 161 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | Pitton | 95 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | SJA | 94 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Angbwa | +6.95 | 89 | 71 |
| #2 | Bolton | +4.51 | 88 | 48 |
| #3 | Battlescarred Bumhole | +1.81 | 79 | 70 |
| #4 | CREAM | +1.42 | 78 | 41 |
| #5 | bond | +1.27 | 74 | 63 |





