








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 314 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 157 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2328 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,163 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 836 | 26% |
| Smokes | 684 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 978 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 665 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $963,079 of utility $218 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 101 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | glebary | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | Horst Seehofer | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | ジャラド | 61% | 23 |
| #4 | ✪ BEA$TY | 57% | 14 |
| #5 | Laa Laa csgopositive.com | 57% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Jarad | 47% | 38 |
| #12 | Jaxon ll | 43% | 14 |
| #13 | Sauvage Extraordinair | 42% | 24 |
| #14 | crazyninja | 38% | 29 |
| #15 | HammerMan | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ジャラド | 7 | 0.0147 |
| #2 | Laa Laa csgopositive.com | 4 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Jarad | 3 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | crazyninja | 3 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | Wenglos | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Laa Laa csgopositive.com | 194 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #2 | Sauvage Extraordinair | 148 | 0.29 | 4 min |
| #3 | Jarad | 131 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | Wenglos | 107 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | CNR | 92 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | glebary | +3.02 | 82 | 65 |
| #2 | ✪ BEA$TY | +2.23 | 61 | 65 |
| #3 | CNR | +2.17 | 66 | 75 |
| #4 | Zoinkers32 | +2.09 | 89 | 43 |
| #5 | Horst Seehofer | +1.75 | 40 | 72 |





