








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 122 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1844 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,613 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1323 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1122 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1230 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 938 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $399,808 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 154 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anton | 86% | 14 |
| #2 | Wenglos | 80% | 10 |
| #3 | Doug Fox | 71% | 14 |
| #4 | PDF file | 65% | 20 |
| #5 | ZalupaCheesePEEK | 63% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | HammerMan | 44% | 9 |
| #14 | Steve Zissou | 31% | 16 |
| #15 | Jarad | 22% | 9 |
| #16 | Knee Gears | 20% | 10 |
| #17 | jon office | 11% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PDF file | 6 | 0.0141 |
| #2 | Knee Gears | 5 | 0.0242 |
| #3 | Snail Killer | 4 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | Doug Fox | 4 | 0.0130 |
| #5 | Laa Laa csgopositive.com | 3 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Laa Laa csgopositive.com | 164 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #2 | Sauvage Extraordinair | 145 | 0.34 | 3 min |
| #3 | joebigdig925 | 73 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | PDF file | 56 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | jon office | 45 | 0.26 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anton | +4.09 | 84 | 33 |
| #2 | ジャラド | +2.72 | 66 | 58 |
| #3 | Zoinkers32 | +2.31 | 85 | 37 |
| #4 | Wenglos | +1.79 | 27 | 75 |
| #5 | PDF file | +0.74 | 73 | 42 |





