








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 113 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1844 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,053 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 439 | 14% |
| Smokes | 1006 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 790 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 818 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $521,698 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 46 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YungTaiga | 71% | 14 |
| #2 | magik | 55% | 11 |
| #3 | sea oh 2 | 47% | 139 |
| #4 | gun | 47% | 17 |
| #5 | door | 46% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sea oh 2 | 7 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | door | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | jeff slayer | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Jabba the | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | ハル | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sea oh 2 | 452 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #2 | jeff slayer | 362 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #3 | door | 284 | 0.28 | 7 min |
| #4 | Sachiho | 115 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #5 | gun | 66 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jeff slayer | +3.79 | 89 | 65 |
| #2 | sea oh 2 | +1.74 | 67 | 66 |
| #3 | SEN tteokbokki | +0.34 | 83 | 38 |
| #4 | YungTaiga | +0.28 | 68 | 60 |
| #5 | dodo | -0.05 | 76 | 42 |





