








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 67 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2425 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,474 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1824 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1426 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1499 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 725 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $382,118 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YungTaiga | 76% | 17 |
| #2 | magik | 55% | 11 |
| #3 | sea oh 2 | 54% | 163 |
| #4 | dodo | 47% | 19 |
| #5 | gun | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Jabba the | 44% | 27 |
| #8 | door | 42% | 62 |
| #9 | ハル | 36% | 22 |
| #10 | dick detective | 35% | 17 |
| #11 | Sachiho | 21% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SEN tteokbokki | 10 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | sea oh 2 | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | door | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Sachiho | 2 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | Jabba the | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sea oh 2 | 518 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #2 | door | 318 | 0.26 | 8 min |
| #3 | SEN tteokbokki | 104 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | Sachiho | 100 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| #5 | Jabba the | 65 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jeff slayer | +3.75 | 88 | 61 |
| #2 | sea oh 2 | +1.43 | 66 | 67 |
| #3 | YungTaiga | +0.18 | 71 | 61 |
| #4 | dodo | -0.24 | 74 | 41 |
| #5 | SEN tteokbokki | -0.52 | 81 | 35 |





